Orthodoxy considers the fortieth day after the funeral to be an extremely important date, the same as the ninth. The accepted canons of the Christian faith say that it is on this day that the soul of the deceased receives an answer about where it will spend eternity. It is believed that the soul is still on the ground for 40 days, but after this day it leaves it forever and moves to its assigned place.

A 40-day commemoration after death is a must and should be done correctly.

How to Treat Death as a Believer

In the ancient world, there was no such thing as a birthday, and people did not celebrate this date. There is a theory according to which it is for this reason that the time of the birth of Jesus Christ was not precisely indicated. But another date was much more important - the moment of death, when the spirit met with the Creator.

Ancient people believed in the afterlife, so their whole life was a preparation for this transition. Today's Christians also believe in the transition to another life, through the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ, therefore believers should not be afraid of death, because this is only the moment of meeting with God.

Commemoration on the 40th day after death is a celebration of this transition, after forty days of preparing the soul for this.

Important articles:

Most Christian denominations believe that after the soul leaves the body, nothing can be done to influence eternal life, let alone bring repentance to the Creator. However, after this, emotions and memories are preserved, so that the person is aware of everything.

Advice! Thus, death is the transition of the spirit from the body to another world, where it reaps the fruits of its earthly deeds. That is why one should not be afraid of it, and believers should not be terrified any more, but everyone should prepare themselves by doing good deeds and giving alms.

Memorial service

Why 40 days and what happens during this time

Why is this date so important and why exactly this number of days?

Nobody knows for sure. But it is the Orthodox faith that has a unique view of the afterlife and believes that prayer for the fortieth day can affect the judgment that our God will pass on to the soul.

The countdown starts from the day of death, i.e. it is considered the first day, regardless of the time recorded by doctors or relatives, even if the person died in the evening. The same is determined and Both dates, together with the day of repose, are considered memorial, i.e. on these dates it is customary to remember the deceased. A Christian is remembered by prayer, church and home, as well as dinner and alms.

Related articles:

Tradition says that 40 days is the time it takes to prepare the soul to receive the Divine gift from the Heavenly Father. This number is often found in the Bible:

• Moses fasted for forty days before the conversation with Yahweh at Sinai, during which he was given the 10 commandments;
• 40 days after death, Christ ascended (which is especially important);
• The Jews' campaign to the Promised Land lasted 40 years.

The theologians took into account all these facts and decided that 40 days are needed for a soul to receive a decision from the Heavenly Father about where it will spend eternity. And at this time the church and relatives pray for her, trying to beg the Creator for mercy and for cleansing the deceased from sins.

What happens at this time? The soul wanders: in the first nine days it worships God, on the ninth day the angels show her hell, and on the 40th day the Heavenly Father announces her sentence. During this time, the resting spirit will have to endure the most terrible test - to go to hell and see how sinners suffer. It is this test that the prayers of the church and the Guardian Angel help to withstand.

It is important to ask the church to pray for the deceased, so it is worth ordering services in the church:

• memorial services.

But it is much more important for relatives and friends to sincerely and fervently ask the Lord for mercy for the deceased. In addition, you can read a prayer service to Saint Uar for the repose of the soul.

Prayer to Saint Uar

“Oh, holy Martyr Uare, the admirable, with zeal for the Lord Christ we kindle, you have confessed the Heavenly King before the tormentor, and you have suffered earnestly about Him, and now the Church honors you, as glorified by the Lord Christ with the glory of Heaven, And the boldness that is given to you is great grace , and now stand before Him with the Angels, and rejoice in the Highest, and see clearly the Holy Trinity, and enjoy the light of the Beginning Radiance, remember also our relatives anguish, who died in wickedness, accept our petition, and as if Cleopatrinus freed your faithless kin from eternal torment Thou, so remember the trees that were opposed to being buried, who died unbaptized, strive to ask them for deliverance from eternal darkness, but with one mouth and one heart we praise the Most Merciful Creator forever and ever. Amen".

Icon of the Martyr Uar

Procedure: rules of commemoration

On the fortieth day, the spirit of the deceased returns home for a day and then leaves the earth forever. Legends say that if the spirit does not find the commemoration on its own, then it will suffer for all eternity, therefore, on this day, it is worth setting the table and getting together to remember the deceased, but this must be done correctly.

1. Pray: on this day, all 40 days and in the future to remember the deceased;
2. Bring a priest to the grave to perform a service or order a prayer service in a church;
3. When ordering a requiem, you must give up any of your sin, for self-benefit and to comfort the soul of the deceased;
4. Make a donation to the temple;
5. Collect for common table all who are close to the deceased and Orthodox Christians;
6. Prepare special meals;
7. Don't sing songs.

Wake is not a festivities or a holiday, it is a moment of sorrow and petition. It is highly inappropriate to drink alcoholic drinks at this time, sing songs or listen to music. They take place for 1-2 hours, when believers remember the departed and pray for him.

Therefore, it is important that only Christians are at dinner, who can share this time of grief with their families and support them spiritually.

What to cook

The meal is simple, especially if there is a general church fast. Even if there is no fasting, then you should avoid meat food and in no case donate it to the temple.

Lunch can be arranged both at home and in a cafe. If the deceased was a permanent parishioner, the priest may allow a commemoration to be held in the church house after the end of the requiem. Lunch is a continuation of the rite of worship, so it should be passed with dignity.

There are a number of dishes that have been prepared for such dinners for a long time. They are simple and satisfying.

An obligatory dish is considered to be prepared in large saucepan, and fish that can be served in any form. Meat baked or fried is not welcome on the tables. It is necessary to make a meal as lean as possible in order to benefit not only the spirit, but also the body.

In addition to kutia and fish, you can put on the table:

• butter pancakes;
• fish sandwiches (with sprats or herring);
• vegetable salads: beetroot with garlic, vinaigrette, herring under a fur coat, Olivier;
• cutlets: ordinary meat or stuffed with mushrooms and cheese;
• pepper stuffed with rice and meat;
• aspic from fish;
• lean cabbage rolls (stuffing with vegetables and mushrooms with rice);
• baked fish;
• pies: fish, cabbage, rice, mushroom, potato or sweet (charlotte).

There are also a number of drinks that should be on memorial table:

• kvass;
• lemonades;
• sbiten;
• fruit drink and juice;
• jelly: can be cooked from both berries and oatmeal.

Important! It is imperative to remember that the church prohibits drinking alcoholic beverages at such events, as well as leaving vodka on the grave of the deceased. During dinner, the deceased is remembered, and with him other deceased relatives and friends.

Memorial meal

Memorial speech

At such meals, it is imperative to make a speech, at the end of which everyone should honor the deceased with a minute of silence.

It is best if there is a steward, someone close to the family, but controlling their emotions and maintaining a sobriety of mind. His responsibilities will include not only control over the preparation for the meeting (control over the staff, if the event is in a cafe), but also giving the floor to relatives.

Usually each of the family tries to say something about the deceased. And the manager controls the time of the speech and the sequence (the first should be close relatives - spouse, parents or children, etc.

Grief is quite expected at such an event, so the manager must prepare and divert attention from the crying person to himself in time. It is worth remembering that the person did not die forever, but passed into better life and this fact can be reminded in especially sorrowful moments.

Important! If a priest is invited to a meal, then he must serve a prayer service and preach a sermon. If the memory takes place in a small circle, then all those present should pray for the deceased and, if possible, read the requiem or prayer service on their own. It is recommended to light church candles at this time.

What to talk about in such a speech? The man suddenly disappeared and it would be appropriate to remember what he was, his good deeds and distinctive qualities. You should not remember grievances and strife, if they left an insult in the heart, this the best time to say forgiveness. It is necessary to remember a person only from the good side, to describe some joint affairs, to remember a funny incident or especially touching one.

A memorial speech is a speech that is sad, but not dreary. Man has not ceased to exist, it is just that now he is in a different form and world.

Who is not remembered

• suicides;
• dead in a state of alcoholic or drug intoxication.

Important! If a person independently made a decision to neglect God's main gift - life, then the Church has no right to remember him as a believer. You can pray for such people on your own and do alms in memory of them, but prayers for them are not served.

Questions usually arise as to whether the church serves prayers for dead babies, and the ruling bishop answers it: it is imperative to pray for the baby, regardless of age or cause of death. It is believed that the Lord, taking children, protects them from a difficult fate in adulthood.

It is extremely important for parents to humbly accept His will and pray for their child.

Alms

The tradition of the Orthodox Church says that Christians on the 40th day should sort out the belongings of the deceased and distribute them to those in need.

At the same time, asking people to pray for him and asking the Lord to grant him eternal life in paradise. This is a good deed that can also influence the final decision of the Lord God about the spirit of the deceased.

You can leave your family personal belongings and those that are valuable as a memory of the past. If there is no needy person nearby, then things can be taken to the temple and left by the priest, who will find a new owner for them.

Important! Alms is a good deed, which, like prayer, is reflected in the eternal life of the deceased.

Watch a video about the commemoration

Consecration of kutya in the Greek church. Photo: monastiriaka.gr

Each person lives with a deep inner confidence in his own immortality and the immortality of his loved ones. Yes, he understands and even sees - people are dying, but the subconscious mind keeps calm confidence - this cannot happen to him and his loved ones. This is the property of a healthy human psyche.

When trouble comes to the house, it is always unexpected and very, very painful. People are at a loss. What to do?! Where to run?! Who will help ?! It is necessary to redo a bunch of previously unknown cases in the shortest possible time. Where to start, how to do it right?

Here people who have experience, strength and, most importantly, a kind heart come to the rescue.

Funeral rites, rules and traditions lead the relatives of the deceased according to a given algorithm, which, from the point of view of Orthodox Christians, is necessary for the good and salvation of the souls of the departed.

A memorial ritual exists in all religions of the world. It is believed that the life of the soul does not end with the death of the body, as does the love of living people for the deceased. The living can communicate with the deceased in the process of memorial rites and are able to help his soul to get to Paradise with their prayers and good deeds.

When the deceased is commemorated

1. On the day of death, after which the soul of the deceased is with the angels for two more days and is allowed to walk on the earth wherever it wants. And she wants to go home, to where her body and loved ones are. It is believed that a virtuous soul visits the places where he created the truth.
2. On the third day, that is, on the day of the funeral, the soul ascends to heaven to worship God. Third, because the deceased was baptized in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, believing in the Consubstantial and Indivisible Trinity. And also because on this day the face (image) of the deceased changes. Meanwhile, the angels show the soul of the deceased Paradise, and on the ninth day they bring it to God.
3. On the ninth day, when, from the Orthodox point of view, the whole body is destroyed, except for the heart. And the soul is led to the places where the deceased sinned, they show Hell, demonstrating the torment of sinners. The soul of the deceased is horrified by what he saw and from the realization that he also sinned, about which the soul bitterly regrets and begs for forgiveness. This continues until the fortieth day.
4. On the fortieth day when the heart is also destroyed. And over the soul of the deceased, God's judgment is performed, determining whether he should be in Paradise or in Hell.
5. In six months and a year after death, birthday and Angel day of the deceased and on all relevant religious holidays annually: on Trinity, meat-eating, parental, Dmitrievskaya Saturdays, on the eve of Pentecost and on Radonitsa.

Why do we need memos

The commemoration is not just a meal, but a ceremony during which the loved ones of the deceased REMEMBER him and his good deeds, where memories of deceased ancestors are awakened, to whom they turn in prayer for help, and where they pray for the repose of the soul of the deceased, trying to alleviate its torment. In their prayers to God - the Holy Trinity, the living ask to forgive the deceased for all his sins, which were committed by word, deed and thought, and to credit him with three virtues: faith, hope and love.

Gathering with the whole family, the souls of the living turn to the help of ancient psychological mechanisms, striving to feel themselves as an integral part of their kind, which will protect, support, and endow them with new strength. And new spiritual strength, love and compassion that heals living people are pouring into the family circle.

Kutia - sweet memorial porridge

To hold a memorial meal, the first thing to do is prepare kutya(it is also called "kolivo") is a ritual porridge made from grains: wheat, barley or rice; sweetened with honey or raisins; and consecrated at the memorial service. The grains are a symbol of the resurrection of the soul, because in order for them to bear fruit, they must first be buried in the ground, where they decay, giving shoots - that is, new life.

From the Orthodox point of view, the body of the deceased is committed to the earth in order to decay and appear incorrupt at the moment of the universal Resurrection. And honey and raisins act as a symbol of the spiritual sweetness of the blessings of eternal life in the Kingdom of Heaven. Connecting in ready meal- kutya, they express the confidence of the living in the upcoming resurrection of the dead and the immortality of the soul.

How to cook kutya: Soak the grains overnight or for several hours, cook until tender so that the porridge is crumbly. Toward the end, add sugar or warmed honey diluted with water (to make it easier to absorb) and raisins (which must first be washed, scalded with boiling water and dried). You can also add poppy seeds to kutya. Here you can see the recipe for kutya (proportions, tips). And another option.

Memorial Dinner Menu Principles

The memorial dinner itself should be:

1. simple and strict;
2. supporting strength: physical and mental (after all, it is known that food is an excellent antidepressant);
3. made from fresh and quality products so as not to darken this mournful day with other accidents;
4. promote conversation and maintain a quiet spiritual atmosphere where grieving people who have gathered for spiritual communication in memory of the deceased can rest a little.

Of course, the composition of the dishes largely depends on the traditions of the family, its wealth and who, presumably, will come to commemorate (after all, people are not traditionally invited to the commemoration, people come themselves). If you think that there will be about as many people who have come to remember, as there are guests for a big holiday, and you can prepare a memorial meal with the efforts of your family, having spent it at home, and there is no energy, time to think through and implement complex menu, invite those who came regular lunch(dinner). So that it is approximately the same as you would feed your family on a weekend.

Traditionally in Russia, cabbage soup, porridge, pancakes, pies, jelly (hard, jelly-like - how to cook, you can see at the end of this jelly recipe) and compotes were prepared for the funeral table. We can offer the following simple and relatively inexpensive menu: borscht, buckwheat porridge, chicken cutlets, homemade preparations (salads, lecho, canned cucumbers and tomatoes), compote and puffs with banana filling.

Of course, if desired, you can cut fresh vegetables and fruits, sausages and meat delicacies, submit a variety of salads, herring or other salted fish, sandwiches with caviar, pate, sprats.

I think the owners themselves will decide whether there is a need for this. The main thing is to remember that when remembering there is no goal - to feed to the bone and amaze with sophistication, high cost and abundance of dishes. But there is a goal - to saturate the guests, thanking them for their help and participation, remember the deceased, pray for the repose of his soul and forgiveness of his sins, and provide each other with psychological help and support. The main thing is not food, but people - living and dead, united by the grief of parting and the change in life - earthly and afterlife.

What to cook for the commemoration

So, let's start preparing the memorial meal.

Homemade borsch

Some believe that Borsch the next day, having infused and thickened, it only becomes tastier. Therefore, if we decide to cook it the day before, the taste of the dish will change, but it will not suffer. By the way, the word “on the eve” comes from the Greek “kanun” (basket), in which they brought food prepared for the memorial table to the church for consecration.

For borscht, prepare meat broth with bone. Pour vegetable oil into a preheated pan, carefully pour finely chopped onion. Once you have caught the sweet onion spirit spreading throughout the kitchen, add the beets and carrots, cut into small cubes. With this treatment, the beets will retain their color, and the carrots will sparkle with a bright orange flame in the depths of beets.

Simple and delicious borsch

The vegetables will simmer in the pan until they are soft to hard. An appetizing one is already spilling from the pan meat flavor? It's time to introduce the broth to potato cubes (cut to the size of beetroot and carrot cubes. The components of the dish should make up a homogeneous assortment).

Remember vegetables preserve the largest number vitamins and bright taste when cooked over high and high heat. A little later, pour vegetables from the pan into the broth, and when they are slightly boiled, add finely chopped cabbage, garlic, bay leaf, a few peas of black pepper, diced tomatoes and Bell pepper of course, they must be the same size as the rest of the components.

Already a little bit left. Let's try. Salted. Sweetened, if it seemed necessary. Add a drop of lemon or vinegar if the beets have slightly lost their gorgeous color. Everything.

There is also an option for cooking borscht with grated carrots and beets (recipe).

In advance you can to cook and chicken cutlets... This is a tasty, inexpensive, uncomplicated dish.

Cutlets

We need minced chicken- fresh or frozen (if, after thawing, it turns out to be too liquid, try draining excess water... If it doesn't help, our cutlets will look more like pancakes in shape, which is still delicious).

In the minced meat, add onion, garlic, eggs (if it is watery, you can put more eggs than usual) and rolled oats into the minced meat.

Knead the minced meat, salt, you can slightly pepper. And now we form the cutlets, first dipping our hands in a bowl of water so that the minced meat does not stick to our palms. If it was initially watery, then we scoop up the future cutlet with a spoon and put it in a pan with hot vegetable oil. When the side in contact with the bottom of the pan is already strong enough and has changed color (here already for an amateur, someone likes fried, dark brown with a clearly felt crust, someone - tender, light), turn over and fry the cutlet on the other side ...

Then we put the fragrant meat delicacies in a saucepan, the bottom of which is filled with a low layer vegetable oil where they remain waiting for the whole cutlet batch for further stewing. When all the cutlets are laid, add water to about the middle of the meat structure, cover with a lid and simmer over low heat until bright characteristic aromas appear. You should not completely forget about the saucepan, sometimes look, maybe you should add water or shake it a little so that the cutlets do not stick to the dishes. You can throw bay leaf and tarragon into the cutlet water.

Here are other recipes for stewed cutlets and stewed cutlets in the oven with tips, the exact composition of the products, the number of pieces.

Sweet

While the cutlets are stewing, you can bake puffs... For this we take ready-made puff pastry and bananas.

Why this particular filling? The aroma of bananas has a calming, pacifying effect on a person, and the substances contained in them, splitting, cause a feeling of happiness. Let it be, albeit small, but help to the people who met at the memorial table.

If you don't like bananas or want to add some variety to the filling of the puffs, you can use a sweet curd mass, a slice of apple, cheese strips, or a mixture of grated cheese and fat cottage cheese, and other stuffing.

Roll out the thawed puff pastry (yeast and yeast-free), draw rectangles with a knife, lay out the filling (in our case, a banana, cut it across into 4-5 pieces, if the pieces are too large, you can divide them lengthwise into halves).

We connect the edges of the dough, so that the filling is entirely in flaky captivity, pinch a little and bake in a preheated oven at t = 220 * C for 10-15 minutes, until browning. Then you can sprinkle the puffs with powdered sugar.

Compote

When cook compote? Probably better the day before, there will be less worries later. Here you are already guided by what you have in stock for the season. Do you have frozen berries or ready-made jars of compote / jam, or on the contrary - now is summer time and everything you need is in abundance. The compote should not be very sweet or overly sour; for a fresh and cool flavor, you can add a sprig of mint or lemon balm and a couple of spicy clove buds to it.

Throw berries, fruits or jam into boiling water, add a little sugar and cook over high heat, very quickly. The compote boiled a little (2-3 minutes) - turn it off immediately. You yourself probably know all this.

If you are in doubt about the proportions, for a 4-5 liter pan you need a jar of berries with a capacity of 0.7 - 1 liter or the same volume of chopped fruits, 0.5-1 kg of dried fruits or 0.5 liters of jam (it all depends on which what exactly are you preparing the compote.Some fruits and berries exude abundant juice, others are very restrained, not expressive and need to be supplemented with sour berries or lemon juice). If you have fewer berries, do not be discouraged, throw everything that you have, perhaps this will be enough. You try, if the taste of the compote is quite rich, tangible, then the filling is enough. If weak: add more berries (or preserves, or a handful of dried fruits left over from cooking kutya, for example) or drip lemon juice for freshness and pleasant sourness... If you are going to shade the compote citrus peel(lemon, orange, tangerine), then throw it into the ready hot drink so that it is not cooked. Otherwise, the compote will taste bitter.

On the subject of sugar - for this volume of water, start with half a glass and try if it is sweet enough. When making sweet jam compote, sugar may not be required. In any case, try and be guided by your taste.

If you like jelly more, you can cook it (jelly recipe).

Buckwheat

On the day of the commemoration, only cooking buckwheat porridge, it will cook pretty quickly and will not require great effort... You can prepare hard-boiled eggs for her in advance, at the rate of 1 egg per glass of cereal. When 40 minutes remain before the meal, you can start.

We take a saucepan (not enameled) with thick walls, similar to a cast iron, fill it with water and cereals at the rate of 2 cups of water for 1 cereal.

If you have dried porcini mushrooms, throw them in at the rate of 1 mushroom per glass of cereal. They will enrich the taste and aroma of the dish.

We put on a very strong fire. Cover with a lid. And we keep it in this form for 4-5 minutes after boiling, then we turn to a medium-intensity fire (and in this interval we add lightly fried and finely chopped onions to the porridge. at the end of cooking, when there is much less water, we switch to a small fire.

Steam plays a leading role in the preparation of porridge, therefore, watch the position of the lid, it should fit snugly against the pan.

It is forbidden to stir. Strictly adhered ratio of components and temperature regime, dishes with thick walls, will create the correct structure of the dish, pores will appear there for the evaporation of excess moisture, and any intervention will destroy this harmonious buckwheat structure. And all this is cooked for 15-16 minutes (if cereals are taken from 1 to 4 glasses. And a little longer if there are more cereals).

Not worth digesting. A special buckwheat aroma may disappear, the porridge will become tasteless. Turned off? Now let the porridge go, brew for 5 minutes.

Then, finally, you can add finely chopped eggs and add a spoon or two butter... Mix. Salt. Stir again. Tasty?!

It is believed that this dish acts as an independent dish, it is not a side dish. When you try it, you will see why. Best served hot.

What will happen on the memorial table

See, what do we get... There is a hearty and delicious borscht. Then we serve buckwheat porridge... You can add tender chicken cutlets to it. Or you can eat them separately, with black bread, having a snack pickled cucumber or sweet pepper from lecho (which will be nice to combine with buckwheat porridge).

Even if we stop there, people will already be full. And we also have compote with puffs.

Of course, porridge can be replaced with potatoes, or high-quality ready-made dumplings can be served as a second, or you can stew potatoes with meat (all this is prepared very quickly, easily and inexpensively). A table can be formed from numerous vegetable salads and salads with mayonnaise, sausage-cheese-fish-vegetable cuts, sweets and cookies.

Sample menu of commemoration after the funeral

A variant of a memorial table for 25-30 people, like this sample menu for commemoration:

1. kutia,
2. cutlets (3 kg minced meat),
3. fried chicken thighs(per piece, 30 pcs.),
4. mashed potatoes (a bucket of potatoes),
5. fish in batter (2 pink salmon),
6. smoked mackerel (2 pcs.), cut into circles,
7. herring (3 pcs.),
8. sausage, ham and cheese slicing (0.7-1 kg each),
9. Olivier salad (more than New Year, volume of 3 liters),
10. tomato and cucumber salad (2 kg each + greens and onions),
11. sandwiches with red fish (1 large) in butter (pack) and a slice of cucumber (take from those on the salad);
12. apples (2 kg), cut into wedges,
13. bread, bun (2 pcs.),
14. 2 types of sweets (2-3 sweets for each guest, about 1 kg in total),
15. sweet ready-made rolls(4 things.);
16. cherry jelly (4 liters).
17. Other drinks: mineral water (4-6 bottles, be guided by the weather, better more), Cahors (3 bottles) and vodka (3 bottles).

There were 20-25 people left for the commemoration, and some of the dishes were not eaten to the end. Almost all cutlets disappeared, along with them mineral water was very popular. There was a decent salad of cucumbers and tomatoes, a little Olivier, thighs (one third), slices, rolls, a little mackerel and herring. A lot of vodka and wine also remained from the original. But this - see how it is customary in your family.

I can say that there was even a lot of everything, it could be remembered and much more modest. For 9 days it turns out that the closest ones come (they are much less than on the day of the funeral) and are remembered at a simple, hearty dinner.

Sample menu for a commemoration for 40 days

For example, for 40 days there were memorials for 12 people, the memorial table consisted of the following dishes.

The generally accepted tradition of commemorating the dead in folk culture, which originates almost in the times of the ancient Slavic feasts, can be conditionally divided into four types:

1. commemoration on the third day after death (the so-called "third").
2. on the ninth day (nine).
3. at the fortieth.
4. for the anniversary and annual commemoration on the day of the death of a person.

All these commemorations are usually referred to as "private", dedicated to specific people- in contrast to the calendar, dedicated to all the dead. In their essence, they represent a continuation of the funeral rite and in the pagan tradition were considered as a consistent transition of the soul from the world of the living to the world of the dead. Christianity not only adopted this point of view, but also adapted it to its concept, filling each case of private commemoration with a sacred meaning. From this position, the most important in her tradition is the fortieth day commemoration.

Sorokovina and their significance in culture

However, it would be wrong to say that the fortieth acquired any sacred meaning only with the Christianization of the Slavs. Even in the pre-Christian era, they were the main date of private commemoration and its final stage, after which only the commemoration of the deceased in the first year after death and then annually followed, which symbolized his joining all the dead. Thus, the majority Slavic peoples he was deprived of individual commemoration. And although, for example, Serbs could arrange private commemorations up to the seventh anniversary of their death, and Bulgarians up to the ninth, this was more optional than tradition.

The frequency of private commemoration among various Slavic tribes (the Slavs could celebrate the twelfth day, and the twentieth, and three weeks) was due to the fact that, according to the then ideas, the soul of the deceased was on earth until the fortieth day. She can return to the house and yard, from where she left on the third and ninth days (thirds and nine, respectively), hovers near the grave, walks where the deceased was during his lifetime. All the ritualism of this period was associated with the stages of the departure of the soul, its wires and a kind of prevention of the return of the deceased, so that he would not return and would not annoy the living in any way. In this sense, the forties were something like the final point: if on the third day the soul of the deceased left the house, and on the ninth - the yard, then on the fortieth it finally left the ground. If everything was done correctly and according to tradition, so that the soul remained satisfied with its wires, then the living could be calm: the deceased became their protector and did not bother them anymore.

Christianity supported this tradition, but not only because its disseminators set themselves the goal of introducing pagans to the new religion in various ways. The Christian tradition had its own meaning of the fortieth day, which was largely formed under the influence of the funeral customs of the Middle Eastern tribes. For example, according to the Bible, the fortieth day is:

1. day of the ascension of Jesus Christ.
2. the day of the third repose of the soul before God, which finally determines its afterlife fate and the place where it will stay until the Last Judgment.
3. the last day of mourning for the forefather Jacob and the prophet Moses.
4. the last day of fasting, after which Moses received from God the tablets of the Covenant with the ten commandments.
5. the day when the prophet Elijah reached Mount Horeb (Sinai).

It is not difficult to see some very significant intersections between Christian and pagan Slavic ideas about the fortieth day, due to which, in due time, there was a relatively easy adaptation of one culture to another in this regard.

Commemoration order

The folk traditions of commemorating the deceased at the fortieth day, which were called differently in different localities, have already become so intertwined with the church traditions that it is almost impossible to separate them from each other. Very often, old people living in villages and talking about the customs of the fortieth day, call those traditions that are inherently pagan in their essence. Perhaps this was the manifestation of the adaptation moment of Christianity to the pagan consciousness, when priests in certain localities were forced to close their eyes to many customs, or even participate in their observance, thereby unwittingly sanctifying one or another tradition with their authority. It was a common phenomenon for all regions to put on a window near the red corner or on the table a "commemoration" for the deceased and ancestors who could visit to commemorate him that day. The commemoration consisted of bread or a pancake and a glass of water (over time, sophisticatedly turned into a glass of vodka), which was changed daily, pouring the old one out the window. In the Smolensk region, an unlit candle was attached to this commemoration.

In addition, in many areas, the following customs were adhered to:

1. make a bed for the deceased on the bench / bed where he slept. After the forties it was taken to church or given to the poor. In addition, the ban on living in this place or in any other way to occupy it was lifted.
2. hang a towel by the window in the house or on the street so that the shower can dry off. After the forties, they did the same with him as with the bed.
3. hang a spruce paw outside so that the deceased can recognize his home, and those walking by to be remembered, and a towel / ribbon / string, with which the hands and feet of the deceased person were tied at the funeral. After the commemoration, they were taken to the churchyard or burned.
4. visit the cemetery and arrange a commemoration right there, inviting those who dug the grave on the day of the funeral (Smolensk region).

On the eve of the fortieth century, in some localities it was accepted:

1. to heat the bathhouse (in Zaonezhie), as well as go to the cemetery, remove the wreaths from the grave and burn them, thereby symbolizing the last day of grief for the deceased. Especially earnest lamentation was associated with him during the commemoration on the fortieth day.
2. pour the millet, where the candle stood for all forty days, on the grave or behind the back gate "for the birds" along with the reading of the prayer, facing the sunset (Vladimirshchina).
3. arrange night vigils with the reading of prayers and spiritual verses and a memorial dinner, which later turned into a memorial service at the cemetery and a memorial meal at home (Smolensk region).
4. bake cookies in the form of a "ladder" with seven steps-jumpers, along which the soul rises to the sky, and after dinner go to the cemetery, seeing off the soul (some southern Russian regions).
5. treat all residents of the village (Ryazanshchina) with jelly and nourishment (honey diluted with water) near the gate.
6. having bowed three times, eat and distribute at the crossroads fought, pancakes, kanun (north-western regions, possibly Ryazan region).
7. open the gates and bow with lamentations to all directions of the world, starting from the east (Tambov region).

In addition, as we have already mentioned, many of the prohibitions of mourning were lifted, which was customarily observed until the fortieth day (in fact, the mourning itself was, by and large, considered complete). For example, after the fortieth day it was allowed:

1. touch and decorate the grave.
2. leave the house empty and lock it up.
3. touch the clothes of the deceased.
4. turn off the light (in some areas).
5. go to bed / bench, which the deceased occupied during his lifetime (and even more so to sleep on it).
6. remove mourning decorations from home, remove curtains from mirrors and reflective objects.
7. distribute or even burn the clothes of the deceased.

The official church, of course, disapproved of such customs, considering them vestiges of paganism and pointing out that the only thing that needs to be done on the fortieth day in addition to commemoration is prayers in order to atone for the sins of the deceased with their help and alleviate his afterlife. However, she did not forbid these manifestations of grief, preferring to explain to her parishioners the peculiarities of commemoration on the fortieth day according to Christian canons. It was especially pointed out to:

1. modesty and restraint in the preparation and decoration of the memorial meal.
2. avoidance of alcohol.
3. the undesirability of eating a memorial dinner at the cemetery.
4. avoiding, if possible, excessive grief for the deceased, especially its external manifestations.

A similar position of Orthodox clergy has survived to this day, and it should be noted that many psychics agree with it (especially with its last point). In their opinion, the deceased is very uncomfortable when relatives mourn them too much. Sometimes the deceased may even come to them in a dream with a request to “let him go” and not grieve for him so much, because he “lies wet”. You can treat the opinion of psychics in different ways, but in any case, in our opinion, this is a good reason to think about the degree of grief that is permissible for the living for the past.

Sorokovin menu

As for the question of what a memorial meal should be on the fortieth day, the answer to it is extremely simple: the memorial table is taken as a model, which is made by the relatives of the deceased on the day of the funeral. Its mandatory elements should be the following:

1. kutia with honey - porridge made from wheat grains, pearl barley or barley, which were eventually replaced by rice. When preparing it, it is also allowed to use poppy seeds, raisins, nuts, milk, jam, sometimes bird cherry. Kutia on the memorial table is a symbol of the resurrection and the cycle of life, and by eating it, a person, as it were, participates in this cycle and becomes a part of it. Each of its elements not only symbolizes something of their own, but is also something like a wish for wealth, sweetness, pleasure and a high harvest. Allowed to cook as rich kutya, which includes all of the above components, and poor. There is no single recipe for kutya, all recipes are similar to each other, but at the same time they differ depending on the regions.
2. meat broth with meatballs, noodle soup or borscht - again, depending on the area of ​​residence.
3. butter (or lean) pancakes. The fundamental difference between them is that lean pancakes are made not with milk, but with water.
4. potatoes with meat, usually stewed or mashed, served as a side dish. If desired, this dish can be replaced with buckwheat porridge.
5. cutlets or chicken.
6. any a fish dish, usually fried fish.
7. dried fruit compote or jelly.

Optional elements of the fortieth day menu, which can be prepared as desired and if possible, are:

1. pies with rice, mushrooms or cottage cheese or pies with potatoes and sour cream (recently this element has become regular).
2. sliced ​​cheese or sausage (except for fasting, when these products are prohibited).
3. one or two fresh vegetable salads.
4. favorite dish the deceased. However, if it is too difficult to prepare or exotic - for example, foie gras with white wine - then it is better not to cook it. Popular tradition calls for modesty, and the Orthodox Church fully agrees with it.
5. the vinaigrette.
6. Olivie.
7. various appetizers and salads.
8. various pickles.

They also prepare special memorial bags with sweets (sweets and cookies), which after the end of the meal for each outgoing guest. Following the folk tradition, it is imperative to ensure that there are even quantities of sweets and cookies in these bags. You can complement this sweet memorial set with a lean bun.

Usually the relatives and closest friends of the deceased are invited to the forties, and ideally everyone who treated him well. At the same time, it does not interfere with approaching the organization of the commemoration rationally and estimating how many people can be treated to a memorial dinner without unnecessarily burdening the family budget (alas, no one has canceled the harsh reality, not even God's representatives on a sinful earth). The same applies not only to the number of guests, but also to the formation of the menu: you should not amaze guests with the abundance and variety of treats. If the commemoration falls on the days of fasting, then it goes without saying that there should not be any meat dishes... In this case, borscht can be cooked lean, replacing the meat with beans or mushrooms, and it would be appropriate to replace mashed potatoes with buckwheat porridge, as we have already mentioned. The same applies to pancakes: taking into account the obligatory nature of this symbolic dish on the memorial table, priests are advised to make them not modest, but lean. It is also advisable not to arrange a commemoration on weekdays of Lent, but to postpone them forward for the coming weekend. If the fortieth day fell on Easter or on any day of the Easter week, then it is best to postpone it generally a week ahead, to the beginning of Radonitsa. It is also recommended to do the same in the event that this day falls on Christmas: to postpone it a week in advance, having previously consulted with the priest.

Some recipes for the memorial table

Of course, every hostess wants to diversify a strict memorial meal with something special in order, on the one hand, to please the soul of the deceased (especially if he loved to eat deliciously during his lifetime), and on the other hand, to please relatives and guests invited to the commemoration. However, it is not at all necessary to turn a memorial dinner into a feast like the same old Slavic feast, investing almost all of your savings into it. It will be quite sufficient to add one or two optional treats to the dishes from the obligatory and generally accepted menu. And to make the preparation of these dishes easier, we are happy to share some recipes that will surely diversify your table.

There is no need to spread a lot about how to cook the same mashed potatoes with meat or salad. And here, for example, a recipe for such a snack as ham rolls:

1. thinly chop 300 gr. ham (if you purchased it as a whole).
2. prepare the filling: boil 3 hard-boiled eggs, separate the yolks from the whites and grate them into different bowls (the whites are on coarse grater, yolks - on fine); grate on the same coarse grater 2 processed cheese or 200 gr. hard cheese; wash, dry and finely chop the herbs; Peel and squeeze 2 cloves of garlic through a garlic extractor.
3. combine all the components of the filling (except for the yolks), add mayonnaise and mix well.
4. spread the ham, put 1 tbsp / dec on the edge of each slice. a spoonful of the filling and roll up in the form of a roll.
5. Dip each roll in mayonnaise and roll in grated yolks.
6. put lettuce leaves on a dish, place rolls on them and decorate with herbs.

Or - an equally simple snack called "tomatoes with fish salad":

1. wash 5-6 tomatoes, cut off the tops and carefully remove the pulp with a teaspoon.
2. boil and coarsely grate (or chop) 5 eggs, mixing them with the pulp of tomatoes.
3. mash the contents of 1 can of canned food in oil with a fork, season it with mayonnaise and, if desired, add a little grated to fine grater cheese, then salt, pepper and add herbs.
4. combine and mix grated eggs and canned food.
5. salt the tomatoes inside and fill them with the filling, then put on a plate and garnish with herbs, if desired, in handfuls grated cheese or green peas.

Finally, here is the recipe for the ladder cookies we already mentioned:

1. make a sourdough: stir 1 packet of dry yeast with 5 tbsp. l. sugar, add 300 ml to the mixture. warmed milk, 3 eggs and 50 gr. butter, then add 3 tbsp. l. flour, mix and put in a warm place for 30 minutes.
2. pour half a kilogram of fresh or frozen berries with sugar to taste (you can use any variety). If desired, you can keep them a little over low heat.
3. the remaining flour (in total, according to the recipe, you need half a kilogram of flour), sift, pour into a container, make a depression in the middle and gradually add the leaven.
4. Knead everything, grind it with flour on top so that the dough does not dry out, and put in a warm, windproof place for another 2-3 hours, kneading twice more during this time.
5. when the dough is ready, roll it in flour mixed with aromatic spices, then split in two. From one to make a cake, and from the second - a ladder.
6. Put the berries on a flat cake, cover with a ladder on top, garnish with berries and raisins, grease with yolk or milk, leave for 15-20 minutes. and then place in the oven at +200 for 20 minutes.

This cookie is associated with one very interesting custom fortune telling, which, perhaps, very clearly shows how folk traditions mixed with religious beliefs. In the old days, it was thrown from the bell tower and, according to the number of pieces into which it flew, they wondered about the future fate of the soul of a deceased person. If several pieces fell off the ladder, then heaven was prepared for the soul, since it was believed that the deceased led a righteous life; if the ladder flew to small pieces, then the deceased was a sinner and his family faced long days of prayer to ease the fate of his soul beyond the grave.

Conclusion

Without a doubt, everyone is familiar with the pain and grief associated with the loss of those close to him. Usually, in such situations, any words seem banal and unnecessary, but without them it would be much worse to experience such tragedies. The death of a person creates such a strange state when you want to be alone and at the same time strive for other close people to share this grief. From this point of view, the commemoration of the deceased can be viewed not only as a tribute to tradition, but also as a kind of psychotherapeutic event.

It is generally accepted that the wake is needed more by the living than by the dead. This is partly true: the dead are alive in memory and will be alive as long as they are remembered. On the other hand, for believers there is no doubt that their spiritual help to deceased people in the form of commemoration and prayers really helps their souls after death to find a deserved place in paradise. A commemoration is, first of all, an opportunity to gather at the same table for all his close people to remember the deceased with a kind word (for example, about the good deeds he has done, about good character traits), pray for him and rejoice that his soul has finally found peace ... Therefore, the church calls on:

1. do not transform memorial dinners on any day - on the ninth or on the fortieth - on the holidays of the belly.
2. do not conduct conversations at the table on this day on everyday or abstract topics and do not allow the commemoration to develop into an exchange of gossip or a quarrel.
3. behave modestly, sedate and restrained.
4. give the opportunity to everyone who wants to make a memorial speech (in practice, it turns into a memorial toast).
5. be sure to pray before the start of the meal and at the very end. In addition, if the deceased was baptized, it will not at all be superfluous to submit to the church a note "On the repose" on this day.

And finally, before lunch, it is advisable to sprinkle kutya with holy water.

The main thing on memorial days is to pray for the deceased. It is necessary to light candles for the peace of the soul of the newly departed and submit a note with the name in the nearest church before the morning service. A candle or a lamp is lit at home. A glass of water and a piece of bread are placed next to it. The bread is better crumbled later by the birds.

Traditional dishes of the memorial dinner

All commemoration begins with a prayer. Everyone who comes should taste three spoons of kutya. Kutia is cooked from whole grains (rice or wheat) with the addition of honey and raisins. Orthodox canons against alcohol. However, it is most often offered. It can be cognac, and sweet wines, for example, Cahors.

Further snacks are offered. It can be cold cuts, vegetables and salads, pickles. Half a boiled egg must be served. Served fish fried or boiled with sauce. Fried liver or cutlets are often offered. You can also serve meat salad.

First courses - borsch, beetroot or noodles on chicken broth... For the second, goulash or roast with a side dish is served. As a side dish, you can choose mashed potatoes, buckwheat porridge. Pilaf can be ordered. Pancakes with honey are traditionally served. Kissel can be replaced with compote.

When commemoration falls on fasting, it is better to follow traditions and make a menu of lean dishes... Kutia is served unchanged, traditional wheat or rice with honey and raisins. Choose cold fish appetizers, fish salad, herring, sprats. Fish pies are appropriate. From salads - vinaigrette, mushroom salads... Any pickles or fresh vegetable salads.

On the first - lean borscht, bean, lentil, mushroom soup. For the second, you can serve potatoes or noodles with mushrooms, stewed potatoes with mushrooms, vegetable pilaf... Prototype meat cutlets there will be cabbage or carrot cutlets, potato zrazy with mushrooms. Lean pancakes or lean buns. Kissel or compote.

Most importantly, do not forget the essence of the commemoration. They are held to strengthen the strength to pray for the deceased.

Cover correctly table To lunch- an occupation that does not require special skills. You can teach this even to a child, and he will gladly become your assistant when serving. festive meals.

You will need

• - tablecloth;
• - cloth napkins;
• - table service;
• - wine glasses, wine glasses and glasses;
• - cutlery.

Instructions

Serving for a formal dinner begins with the choice of a tablecloth. The classic color is white, but if you are satisfied with a different color scheme, there are no prohibitions. The main thing is that it should be a good-quality fabric tablecloth, preferably linen. Its ends should cover the table legs, hanging evenly from all sides. Traditionally, so that no knocking of appliances is heard, a felt lining is placed under the tablecloth.

Place small, large plates opposite the seat for each guest, placing them 2.5 centimeters from the edge of the table. You can put plates on them if you plan to serve snacks, followed by hot dishes. Or deep bowls if your menu includes soup. Of course, all plates and cutlery should be either from the same set or be matched in style.

Place the forks to the left of the plate, bend downward. First, put a wider fork for meat or fish, depending on what you plan to serve, then also place the fork with the prongs up. The first fork should be about 1 centimeter from the edge of the plate.

To the right of the plate in the same order, place the knives - closer to the plate a knife for hot, further -. The knives should be facing the plate. If there is soup on the menu, place the soup spoon on the far right with a downward bend.

Wake is one of the most ancient customs of our people. The first commemoration began to be celebrated by the ancient Slavs. Then they were called funeral. They were celebrated mainly by the leaders and respected soldiers. The feast included a feast and military competitions held in honor of the deceased or deceased husband. With the coming of Christianity to Russia, the meaning of the commemoration changed - more attention began to be paid to the soul of the deceased, which was in a "suspended" state during this period.

Photo 40 days after death

Funeral feast

The 9-day commemoration is very important. In most world religions, on this day, the soul leaves the place where its body dwells and goes on a "journey" through the subtle worlds. For "nine" days in the house of the deceased, the relatives and closest friends of the deceased gather. They say only good things about him and conditionally “let go” of his soul.

Sorokovina photo

The obligatory kutia, pancakes and jelly are served on the table, as well as dishes typical for the area in which the deceased lived.

The forties is a critical period for the soul. It is on this day that it is determined where she will go - to Heaven or Hell. Therefore, relatives gather for a commemoration 40 days after death to support the soul of the deceased. The more good things are said about the deceased, the higher his chances of finding shelter among the bright angels and finding eternal peace.

For 40 days, only relatives gather for the commemoration. Friends of the deceased, pleasant colleagues, colleagues, students and mentors are waiting in the house. According to the tradition that has survived from pagan times, the 40-day commemoration is accompanied by a feast.

Photo commemoration 40 days

The principle of selecting dishes for the menu for the 40-day commemoration is as follows:

Obligatory dishes: wheat or rice kutia, pancakes without filling, served with honey and jelly. Each of these dishes has been accompanying the feast for many centuries. Each of them has a sacred meaning, helping those present to appreciate the frailty of life.

Traditionally, pies are baked for 40 days after death. With rice and mushrooms, offal with onions and meat, with berries and cottage cheese.

Meat dishes, if the forties did not fall on the fast.

Fish dishes, which are considered more loyally by church cooking.

Soups, broths - especially in the cold season.

Pickled vegetables and salads, most of which have lean interpretations, are therefore considered universal dishes at any memorial event.

Many housewives prepare the deceased's favorite dish. For example, jellied meat or chicken fricassee.

Sweet cheesecakes, shortbreads, pies, cookies, sweets. It is these products that will be distributed to people who have gathered at the forties, or taken to the nearest shelter.

At the table for 40 days after death, poems, speeches are pronounced. But, they should be as less pretentious and as soulful as possible.

Year after death

The year after death is the final commemoration event for the deceased. It is attended mainly by relatives and closest friends. The menu of commemoration for the anniversary of death is the same as that served for 9 and 40 days.

Photos from the commemoration year after death

During the commemoration of the year after death, people remember the good things that the deceased had, list his achievements and successes. The memorial service a year after death is accompanied by a memorial prayer and a joint trip to the cemetery of the deceased's closest relatives.

Funerals for six months are celebrated very rarely, because this period has no sacred significance. But, with a special desire or the prevailing circumstances - a departure abroad, an upcoming wedding, christenings, some relatives may celebrate a commemoration six months after death.
Nine days, forty days, 1 year commemoration - milestone events for the soul of the deceased and his relatives in the matter of perpetuating his memory. That is why it is customary to celebrate them with a memorial prayer, a feast and good deeds performed in the name of the memory of the deceased.