When one of the spouses has feelings pass, this is the hardest stress. Any change in a relationship for the worse is especially painful for a woman, since it is vital for her to be loved and desired. It is very difficult to admit the fact that a man has fallen out of love, so many wives continue to deceive themselves and play in an ideal family. This position is very dangerous because it presupposes inaction. It is much wiser to admit the problem and try to figure out what to do if the husband does not love his wife. What signs can indicate this?
Typically, a wife does not need direct evidence that she is no longer loved. This manifests itself even in small things, you just need to stop “hiding your head in the sand” and analyze your husband's behavior. Psychologists advise paying attention to a whole range of factors that explain how a husband behaves if he does not love his wife.
If the husband does not love his wife, what should she do? This is the first question that a woman must answer herself. To make it easier to make a decision, you need to evaluate all the pros and cons of your man and understand whether you need to fight for him. Divorce is never easy, but living with a husband who has no feelings left is also hard. Not every woman is ready to live with the hope that her husband will love her again.
Psychologists assure that, finding herself in such a position, a woman can choose one of two options:
Life is unpredictable, so this outcome is quite likely. But for this, a woman must make some effort. First of all, you need to remember how the relationship began, and what initially attracted the man. After analyzing the relationship, the wife must realize her mistakes, because they certainly were. It is useless to shift the blame only to the husband, this position is doomed to failure.
There are always signs that the husband does not love his wife. What signs may indicate this - you need to figure it out. A woman knows her spouse best of all, so it will not be difficult for her to identify the factors that provoke irritation. It is worth starting work on a relationship by eliminating the reasons that displease the husband.
Sometimes in such cases a joint trip or a weekend spent together will be indispensable. The ability to retire and have a quiet conversation is an important step towards mutual understanding.
There is always a difficult situation if the husband does not love his wife. What to do is up to the woman to decide. When she wants to return her husband's love, do not impose yourself and become his shadow - this will push him away and cause a new wave of irritation. You can't show your loneliness and melancholy. A confident and happy woman is much more attracted to. In order for a husband to look at his wife with different eyes, she must also believe in her attractiveness and exclusivity. It is unlikely that a husband wants to idolize a woman who does not believe in herself.
Any man loves to be admired. This is an integral part of their nature, and many wise women take advantage of it. When a wife praises her husband and emphasizes his dignity, he feels confident next to her, and will constantly return for a new portion of admiration.
Probably every woman thinks from time to time: if the husband does not love his wife, what signs should be present. Joint conversations on topics that are interesting to both will help to renew old feelings. A woman can surprise her spouse with her knowledge in various fields and show that she is smart and educated.
Family life is not easy, so it often ends in divorce. When people have different values \u200b\u200band perceptions of the world, it is not easy for them to find a common language and keep love. At the beginning of a relationship, very little attention is paid to this fact, it seems that all difficulties are surmountable. But when feelings cool down, optimism quickly disappears, and often a situation arises when the husband does not love his wife. What signs will help determine this - any wife knows.
If a woman realizes that she is not ready to live with a man who does not love her, she decides to leave him. In such cases, resentment and misunderstanding do not allow an objective assessment of the situation, but it is worth making an effort on yourself and parting correctly. There is no need to accuse your husband of dislike, it is better to try to accept reality and let him go. Perhaps then the relationship will move to a new level, and everyone will be able to live their own life.
If the husband does not love his wife, the advice of a psychologist comes down to one thing - to analyze the relationship and future prospects. It is important to understand that all vapors feel cooling at a certain period of time. When the cold drags on, the woman begins to understand that, perhaps, her husband has stopped loving her. One gets the impression that he lives his own life, in which she has no place.
Each family may have its own reasons why it seems that the husband does not love his wife. Signs should be considered only in combination. Psychologists believe that most often feelings cool down due to the fact that there was not enough emotional closeness between the spouses. Misunderstanding leads to the fact that the couple cannot find a compromise and come to an agreement. Problems build up, irritation builds up, and fights don't fade away.
When a woman realizes that her husband has lost interest in her, she thinks about how to return his feelings. But first of all, it's worth figuring out: is it necessary to do this? Often, attempts to call a man into a conversation end in failure, since he is unlikely to discuss his feelings.
To avoid another scandal, a woman should express her thoughts calmly and judiciously, without stopping to insults. How does a husband behave if he does not love his wife? By his behavior, intonation and words, one can understand whether there is a chance to restore the family or whether you need to come to terms with reality.
When a relationship is like a one-sided game, the wife needs to think about herself and remember that she, too, has the right to be happy. You do not need to continue meaningless conversations and do your best to keep your husband. Such actions will not lead to the creation of a strong family, but will bring new disappointments and the collapse of hope.
A woman should realize that, clinging to her back, she will never feel needed and desired. Sometimes loneliness is much more pleasant than constant torment and suffering, so you should not be afraid of it. In addition, it's time to find peace of mind and harmony, which will be useful for building new relationships. It is important to realize that your own happiness does not depend on the actions of other people, it is achieved as a result of painstaking inner work on yourself.
If the husband does not love his wife, the questions the woman asks the priest will help her learn to believe in the best. You need to value life, notice the elementary joys and know that God sends only those trials that a person can withstand.
Letter to writer Svetlana Ermakova:
OLYA: Svetlana! I really like the idea of \u200b\u200ba family-friendship.
I thought before: why does the family hold on to the word "must, must"?
But almost everyone lives like this. And in my environment, everything. And I thought it was just my protest of some kind.
The first marriage fell apart, I took the child and a package of necessary things and went nowhere. But the settings were initially wrong, and instead of getting up on my feet, thinking about my own home, I started looking for a husband so that he would provide me with housing, money, and everything else ...
But I had to work a lot, just a lot of work and earn extra money in order to somehow pay for rented accommodation and feed myself and the child, and the search for a husband dragged on.
Of all the qualities that my future husband should have, the most important is the presence of a roof over his head, if only he would take me unfortunate with a child and shelter me. How one must not love oneself to think like that!
And then he met, who had the same notorious roof. And he invited me to live with him.
I was brought up to be grateful for the fact that a person did good to me, and immediately began to cook, wash, clean and court him, that is, thank him.
In response, I began to expect that they would also support me and "love" in every possible way, but the person was in no hurry ...
At first I was angry, cursed, and then I left ... He mobilized, brought me back (that's just like a thing, it becomes disgusting from itself).
But "must-must" will not go far, and conflicts began with renewed vigor.
Then the second child was born, I was still "must and obliged", but I understood: this is not a family, but the devil.
And I came to your ideas: in the family, everyone decides for himself what to do and assigns himself responsibilities.
The husband does not like this, he wants to have always prepared food, cleanliness in the house, clean dishes, etc.
And I just feel that I don't want to cook for him! I cook for children with pleasure. And when my husband eats my soup, I am just overwhelmed with anger that he will devour, and I have to cook again.
My question is this: how can I, while maintaining my own dignity and calmness, tell my husband that I will NOT cook and serve him for him.
I have not a drop of love for him and respect too. But until I have the opportunity to live separately from him, I will not have my own home.
To my conversations that I am not a housekeeper, my husband has one answer: why do I need you here if I do everything myself?
I do not yet have such an income to rent a house and support myself and two children, and he uses this to the fullest.
My husband has a three-room apartment, I already talked about dividing the territory, each in his own room, and no one owes anything to anyone. But no, a scandal begins, the husband says that he does not need a neighbor. I'm so desperate ...
Sorry, Svetlana, for taking your time to read my letter. Maybe you once met such a situation and can give me something to suggest? If you don't answer anything, I will be glad that I could just write you this letter.
(We will publish the answer of Svetlana Ermakova a little later)
Such scary stories, just like that!
At one housewife, for example, her husband ate all the dog food from boiled old bones and did not choke. But even this story is nothing next to this:
“Sometimes it’s not like that! I worked with a man who was too delicate. He came home from work from the 3rd shift, wanted to eat. In order not to wake up his wife, he did not turn on the light and in the dark began fumbling over the pots. And the wife cooked porridge that day. dog and covered the pan with a rag. In short, I ate both the porridge and the rag, in the morning I reprimanded my wife that the porridge was not salty and the meat was sinewy, I barely chewed it. I was very surprised when I found out that I had eaten. " panevin
"my late daddy (the kingdom of heaven to him), ate pig food under the shafe. The next day, I asked for yesterday's borscht)))) there were real slops from the d / garden))))" Talissa
Another "daddy" ate a cucumber mask from the face of his dozing wife, and when she was indignant, he asked her husband to scrape the salts on his face next time.
For men, everything that comes into their field of vision seems edible:
"My one once cooked soup, well, he is a chef and cooks well in principle. I come home from work, he pours me soup, so tasty, I don't remember which one. Then it just dawned on me, I ask, what kind of greens is in the soup, like no dill , there was no parsley in the house. Yes, the parsley was on the windowsill in a glass, she said. I almost fell - my geranium branch was taking root. So he chopped it))) "
But these are still good men, not capricious, omnivorous. I put a cloth for them, with which you wipe the fat from the stove, they will gobble it up instead of sausage for a sweet soul.
And there are bad men who eat human food! Take what tastier !!!
"Damn, well, I don't have enough strength, I bought a piece of cheese that is not cheap, I think it will be a child, well, and we will have a little. I took 300 grams, my husband was sitting in the kitchen, fed, drank tea. I went to put the child to bed, I come - there is no half a piece. Neither am I a son I didn't even try. I was already shaking. A person has a feeling that he is alone at home, there is no one else and cheese fell from the sky.
The same thing, a few days ago there is a package of sausages, he came, the package and ate it. I ask, was it really impossible to warm up 3 pieces with potatoes. And why, and so delicious.
Tomorrow I'll hide it, got it ... "
"He eats baby food - without salt, ground it in a blender. Nearby there is normal food - soup, goulash. I ask:" Why are you eating baby food? "Says:" And you cook the most useful for the child, but not for me! Freak!"
"We live in economy mode - I want to finish this repair already! The food is the simplest. The child is 4 years old. I cook him separately for now - just meat for everyone - he has beef, and so on with cheeses, yoghurts and fruits. Husband, bastard, eats I want to eat - I ate 4 yoghurts, damn it, it was until the end of the week! I ate this figs nesquik, who drank milk and breakfast for breakfast. I am furious !! Present - offended. "
"The same was garbage. Now my husband is gone, nesquik and yoghurts are safe, I am doing repairs alone. Probably where he left, they allow him to eat a lot ..."
lusie2
"Mine, too, thrashed children's food, even taking into account that there was normal food nearby. Grit, really, really wanted to. Apparently this food was sweeter, because the forbidden fruit. Guys are children.
But he steals cat food all the time "
Compassionate readers vying with each other give advice on what to do with voracious husbands, such kind advice, you can feel the experience:
"Cook, as with the Scoop, with a total deficiency of food, immediately a bucket pot of borscht for a whole week. Let him eat at least a stranglehold. If only he does not starve. At lunchtime and in the evening after work, we ate and came home nourished and contented. And rattle! Up belly on the sofa to watch TV or sit on the Internet. "
"you pour him a laxative in the meat or a handful of nails, in the first case, he won't understand what's the matter, but you will 'get high', and in the second you will definitely get angry, there will be a scandal, but maybe he will stop eating altogether, he will start cooking for himself .. . well, this is an option "
Eh, what can I say to all this? Is this a problem ?! Here I have a problem, this is a problem: my husband drinks all the water from the kettle! Sits - squelching tea, and I want to drink - the kettle is already empty !!!
Girls, what to do to teach him not to drink all the water in the house: turn off the water, hide the kettle? Pour cold water on him, hot?
How do you deal with the problem of hard drinking? !!!