In the life of any family, the day comes when a close person leaves them. In this case, you need to know how to hold wake for 40 days. On this day, the soul of the departed leaves our world, so it is important to carry out everything correctly, as befits the rules of the church. RBC Maestro has a memorial hall, and also helps relatives to organize an event in accordance with all the rules.

To organize everything yourself on such a day is extremely difficult, so the help of outsiders, who are not indifferent to what is happening, will be an excellent relief. We have our own menu for commemoration for 40 days, which takes into account all the rules.

How to hold a memorial event?

There are a few basic rules that must be observed on this day. These include:

• Only believers should gather at the table, as only with their faith can they help the soul of the departed, going to another world;
• Church rules prohibit drinking alcohol at a commemoration event, having fun: dancing, singing, etc .;
• If you know how to hold a wake for 40 days, then you must comply with a strict menu consisting of several mandatory dishes.

  The following dishes should be present on the table for a day for 40 days:

• Kutya and pancakes;
• Sandwiches made from bread and fish products;
• Vegetable and fish salad;
• Pies stuffed with potatoes, apples or fish;
• As the beverage is chosen kissel, kvass or lemonade.

Our memorial menu for 1000 rubles

Cold appetizers
Assorted Home Pickles		50 gr.
Pickles, gherkins, pickled cherries, sauerkraut
Assorted fresh vegetables		50 gr.
Sweet paprika, cucumbers, tomatoes, radishes.
Herring with potatoes and pickled onions		50 gr.
Herring in the traditional Russian style
Pancakes		2 pcs.
Kutya		50 gr.
Traditional memorial cereal with honey, raisins and nuts

If you have never held such an event, you can not worry about its correctness, if you cooperate with us. So that you do not have a question how to hold a wake for 40 days, we will help you organize everything at a high level in accordance with all customs.

Why it is worth choosing our Restaurant and Banquet complex?

In this market, we provide services for many years. We have extensive experience and professional team of chefs and support staff. Our main benefits include:

• Comfortable rooms with modern renovation, in which you can spend a loved one on the last journey;
• Experienced staff in the kitchen who will perfectly cook a funeral dinner;
• Own menu for commemoration for 40 days, which was developed in accordance with church rules.

VIDEO - why and why commemorate the departed for 40 days?

If you have not made the final choice, then it’s time to do it. With us everything will be organized at the highest level for the minimum cost that our main competitors will not offer you. To start cooperation it is enough to call us or come to the restaurant and banquet complex.

The funeral and the first memorial days take place in an atmosphere of grief and overwhelming grief. And when the first year passes, the pain of loss is dulled, but many people still want to do everything according to Orthodox traditions, so that the person who left will forever rest in peace.
  On the anniversary of the death, relatives come to the cemetery and visit the grave, arrange a memorial dinner and distribute a memorial treat to everyone who knew or did not even know the deceased. It is very important on this day to observe the main canons of Orthodoxy and to adequately give your last debt to the dead.

What to order in the church on the anniversary of death

Prayer has always been considered the best talisman for both the living and the dead. According to church canons, it is believed that many souls are subjected to terrible agony. Good thoughts and sincere prayers to God can help them find comfort.

In order to worthily remember a person who passed away a year after his death, people order the Divine Liturgy in the church. This should be done in advance, for example, from the evening to the morning service, or early in the morning before the beginning of the service. In the morning, come to the service and stand up to the end, praying with the priest for the absolution of a departed loved one.

Forty days are also ordered in the church for the months of death. If the date falls on Easter days, you can order an Easter canon. Church prayers during the service are much stronger than the usual prayer at home or in a cemetery.

In the church, you can buy and put a candle, pray for the rest and ask at this time before the icons of the saints for the gift of the past soul of the Kingdom of Heaven and the absolution of all voluntary and involuntary sins. In memory of the departed, you can also take in the church a prosphora, liturgical bread to be eaten on an empty stomach.

Go to the grave

According to tradition, on the anniversary of the death of relatives visit the grave, cleaned it, lay flowers and light a candle or a lamp. Then, in the peaceful atmosphere of the cemetery, it is good to stand quietly at the grave, recall all the good things associated with the deceased and pray for the rest of the soul. Those who want to fully adhere to church rules in good faith, invite the priest to the grave to conduct the ritual for the anniversary of death.

If the season allows, natural flowers are planted at the grave, as well as a beautiful bush or tree. In the Slavic traditions for the cemetery, conifers and evergreens are the most popular as a symbol of eternity, as well as birch, viburnum, lilac.

By the anniversary usually try to put a monument, fence and finalize the grave. At the grave they dig in a table with a bench at which the family can gather to commemorate the deceased. To keep the memory for posterity, a photo of the deceased is placed on the monument. The church rules do not specify the timing of the installation of the monument in the cemetery. This is done at the discretion of relatives.

Commemoration table for the anniversary of death

On the anniversary of the death of the fourth funeral dinner from the day of the funeral. At the wake for 1 year, it is customary to invite the closest people whom the relatives choose themselves. The table on this day can be very rich and varied.

• In memory of the rest for him, they leave a place at the table and put a symbolic device - a plate and a glass with water and a piece of bread on top. The Orthodox Church categorically denies alcohol at the commemoration and considers the use of alcohol as a sin which can greatly harm an ascended soul.
• Before the start of dinner, the eldest family member or one who assumes this role should read a prayer and say thanksgiving words to the deceased. Then a symbolic commemorative dish is served - kutya, which every participant of the feast must taste.
• The memorial menu includes a set of traditional dishes that since ancient times carry a certain symbolism. For example, the first hot dish with rising steam symbolizes an easy and fast way to ascend the soul to heaven. At the commemoration they usually serve noodle soup, soup, borscht or hodgepodge.
• Porridge is often served at the second stage, since the grain carries in itself eternal life. It can be stored for a very long time, germinate and multiply in the ear, then new grains form a new life cycle. In many localities, traditionally, they always cook their favorite dish of the deceased.
• The remaining dishes can be very diverse: fish in any form, meat rolls, casseroles, cuts, cabbage rolls, cheeses and sausages, aspic, etc. Must be on the commemorative table there are cakes with any fillings.
• A full meal also includes sweet dishes for dessert. Drinks served non-alcoholic.

Since on this day relatives and relatives are gathered for family, they can remember happy moments together, see old photos, videos. It is necessary all good and thank the deceased and fate, for the fact that this man met on the path of life.

Wake in post

If the years have fallen into the church fast, then it must be strictly observed. Commemoration in the post held without eating meat. All of them are successfully filled with hearty mushroom dishes. A good substitute for meat is also lentils.

Lenten menu can be no less rich and tasty than usual: any vegetable salads, cabbage or carrot cutlets, zucchini stuffed with vegetables or rice, peppers, eggplants. The table can also be varied with cereals and pickles.

The main thing on this day is the unity of the family in the general memory of the deceased, in the common prayer for him and securing a good memory of him, which will remain in the hearts of his relatives for life.

  - This is not a feast and not a simple lunch. It is a ritual of parting with the soul of a relative (or friend). The question of what to cook for a commemoration is often asked by young housewives who first encountered the need to prepare dishes for a memorial meal.

The abundance of expensive dishes at the commemoration is inappropriate. But there are dishes that are required at funeral lunches.

Kutya - a dish worth knowing more

Without kutya - sweet cereal porridge - neither the village commemoration nor the city memorial meal is complete. The spiritual meaning of this dish is interesting and important: the grain symbolizes the immortality of the soul, raisins and honey "remind" of the eternal sweetness, which gives spirituality.

The question of how to cook kutia for commemoration is relevant for those who are preparing to conduct a “farewell” on the fortieth day after the death of a relative. The recipe for this dish is often asked and those who are tasked to organize a meal a year after the sad event.

Recall that Kutyu can be prepared only from whole grains of wheat or rice. This ingredient you need five hundred grams. In addition to wheat (rice), you need to prepare the following products:

• Raisins (one hundred fifty - two hundred grams).
• Eighty grams of honey.
• Ground nut kernels (about thirty grams).
• You will also need a liter of water.

Nuances of cooking kutya

To make Kutya crumbly, rice (or wheat) before cooking is soaked in water for five to seven hours. Then rice should be put on a medium heat and cook until the grains are soft. A few minutes before readiness, add honey, diluted with water, raisins (well washed), nuts to porridge. The finished dish must be carried to a memorial service (to the nearest church), so that the priest will consecrate Kutya. Recall that the memorial meal begins with this dish. Each invited person should eat a little kutya, and then move on to other dishes - soup, sandwiches.

What to cook at the commemoration of 40 days

Sorokoviny - a difficult date, and you can say, decisive. After all, it is on the fortieth day that the soul of the departed will know what kind of future is prepared for it by the Higher Forces: will it join the Lord’s Angels or will it plunge into chaos and darkness. Relatives and friends of the deceased, gathering at the memorial table, pray for the soul of the deceased, remember his noble deeds. It is good if there are many commemorating people, and the prayers of these people will be sincere.

The most popular dishes for the memorial meal

The main purpose of the memorial meal is to reinforce the guests, to unite them in grief. Therefore, lean dishes should be as simple as possible, but hearty.

What to cook at the wake 1 year

If you are preparing for a commemoration commemorating the anniversary of the death of a relative, remember that this meal is only for the closest people who have died. Do not create unnecessary culinary difficulties. In addition to kutya (she is the “queen” of any memorial meal), you can prepare such dishes:

Standard dishes on the anniversary of the death of a loved one

• Borscht.
• Mashed potatoes or stewed potatoes with mushrooms.
• Fried fish fillet.
• Pancakes
• Kissel.
• Chicken cutlets.

Knowing the preferences of the deceased, you can prepare a dish that he loved especially strongly (roast, cakes, salad).

Today I will talk in more detail about the traditions of the memorial table, as well as what was taken to cook at the commemoration. We have already told in detail about the commemoration rites themselves on the day of death, 9, 40 days and a year from the day of death, but now a little more about the memorial menu, as one of the most important traditional components of this process and ritual, escorting the immortal soul of relatives to another world.

The fact that the human soul is immortal, scientists were able to confirm. But people know this from Old Testament times. In the words of Ecclesiastes: “God created man for the incorruptibility and made him an image of his eternal being.” (Prem. 2.23)

What kind of relatives should we remember to commemorate on the memorial days?

In pre-revolutionary Russia, in each family, a notebook called “Pomyannik” was passed down from generation to generation. The names of all the departed members of this genus were recorded in this notebook. Therefore, prayers were offered even for those relatives who were no longer remembered, even the oldest of the well, family members.

Therefore, on parents' Saturdays, they commemorated the parents and all the progenitors of the clan. Unfortunately, in our time, this tradition has been lost in many families. Remember about your roots, make a family tree, a great blessing, since the strength of your family and its support for your home from this will increase. However, this memory will be incomplete if it is not sanctified by prayer.

Through prayer, a mysterious mystical encounter with the departed takes place. Our feelings have become much hardened, we do not see the mysterious world of souls. A prayer on the parent Saturday, or on another day of commemoration (for more information on these common days of remembrance, see the separate article), helps not only to meet, but also to make an offering.

  The best commemoration is the prayer in the church, but if you cannot get to the temple, you can remember your ancestors at home, or go to the cemetery, as is more common today.

How to remember the dead in church?

The edible products brought in the parent Saturday in the church: the wine “Cahors” and flour, are used for worship. From flour bake prosphora. Which, together with Cahors, are necessary for the service of the liturgy - the main Christian service, where the departed are commemorated, the church sacrament takes place with the eating of Christ's flesh and blood.

In order for your departed to be remembered at the altar, you must submit a letter of repose with the names. On a piece of paper you need to put a small cross and write "On the rest." Next, write in the column the names of those who died.

Few people know, but in the church can also donate incense to remember the dead. Buy it in the church shop. And the easiest way to remember, the deceased is a candle,  which is about his ecstasy.

And of course it is good, according to the old tradition, to arrange a home memorial meal with a traditional memorial table and corresponding dishes.

What is served on the memorial table?

  First of all, on the memorial table serves Kut, about that, we have already written separately, but I will tell you briefly. In fact, kutya is the same as colivo.

It is usually made of wheat or rice, by the way, we have

It is desirable that the Kutiya commemoration table has already been consecrated in the church, but if it is not possible to do this, then you can simply sprinkle it with holy water at home.

What does the memorial kutya symbolize?

In short, the cereal commemoration of grain is a symbol of resurrection. To give fruit, they must be in the ground and decay. In the same way, the body of the deceased is buried in the earth in order to decay and, during the time of the general resurrection, rise imperishable for a future life.

What does honey symbolize at the commemoration?

Honey or raisins in the crown mark the spiritual sweetness of the blessings of eternal life in the kingdom of heaven. Thus, Kutya is a visible expression of the confidence of the living in the immortality of the departed. And in their resurrection and in their eternal life through the Lord Jesus Christ.

For a long time, the memorial dish and the traditional component of the memorial table is considered to be honey. It can be brought to the graves of the departed. Honey put the same way in the brew (uzvar), it is a prototype of modern compote. By the way, compote is also an obligatory memorial dish.

Memorial pancakes

The traditional wake is pancakes. If commemoration takes place in the skorme days, then it is possible to bake pancakes according to recipes from Maslenitsa. If the commemoration falls during the post, then take at the end of the article the recipes for special lean pancakes, as the memorial table must also comply

Memorial jelly

It is also customary to serve kissel during the commemoration. In the old days, jelly (from the word "sour") was made from rye, oatmeal or wheat flour. First, the sourdough was put on sourdough, and then the jelly was prepared.

This memorial jelly was so thick that it was cut with a knife or eaten with a spoon. Recall from fairy tales milk river with honey and honey. We will tell you more about how to make traditional Slavic oatmeal or rye jelly.

What should be the alcohol on the memorial table?

By tradition, there is always no alcohol on the memorial table. The custom of putting alcoholic drinks on the memorial table is an echo of the heathen tribulations.

Especially, if we commemorate our dead on the parental Lenten Sabbath, then it is absolutely impossible to drink alcohol in the post.

In addition, prayer and a drunken mind are incompatible and can even be equated with blasphemy. Will the Lord listen to the words of drunken intercessors? Meanwhile, the souls of our dead relatives are very much waiting for prayer support from us.

How to start the memorial table?

  Another tip - start the memorial meal with ceremonial dishes, as the traditional memorial dinner and the table should start with this.

In more detail, on the order of the commemoration and at the memorial table, also read separately, so as not to repeat, but now I would like to give at last a few recipes of the most traditional dishes on the memorial table.

Recipes of traditional dishes of the memorial table

Sweaty pancakes

To cook vintage pancakes “pomchiku” to the memorial table, you need to take 1-2 cups of wheat flour with bran, 2 cups of water, 3 tablespoons of vegetable oil, add 1 tablespoon of honey or sugar and 1/3 spoon of soda. Add citric acid and salt to taste.

In one glass of water we dissolve soda, salt, honey or sugar, pour in flour with bran. Then in one glass of warm water dissolve citric acid and combine the two parts. Stir until a homogeneous dough without lumps. We bake in a pan, and add butter for each pancake.

Old Russian custard pancakes for commemoration

1.3 cups buckwheat and 2.3 cups wheat flour, 25 gr. yeast, ¼ h. spoonful of salt, 1 / 2h. Spoons of sugar, butter for baking.

In the evening, take all the buckwheat flour and half of the wheat flour, brew 2.5 cups of boiling water and quickly make up dough with flour. When the dough closes to cool, add 1, 5 cups of warm water in it to dissolve the yeast and mix all the dough well.

Next day add the remaining flour, salt, sugar. The dough should turn out a little thicker than ordinary pancakes. Mix it well, when the dough rises to bake pancakes, the dough is no longer stir.

How to cook jelly to the memorial table?

  Kissel. This is not only a ceremonial memorial dish, but also traditionally Russian delicious food. Kissels in ancient times boiled grain, while fermenting grain. And only 200 years ago, berry kissels began to give preference.

In this jelly is very useful. For example, oatmeal kissel improves metabolic processes in the body, helps in the treatment of the effects of heart attack and stomach ailments. And berry and fruit jelly stimulate the immune system and treat the gastrointestinal tract.

In short, it is better to eat dishes for a third than to find jelly. And already in the post, it's just a necessary meal. Yes, and cook it is not so difficult, the main thing to adjust.

Old oatmeal jelly for wake and not only

800gr. oats whether oatmeal, 2 ½ liters of water, 1 liter of kvass, salt.

To cook traditional Slavic kissel for a commemoration and not only, it is necessary to grind oats in a coffee grinder, or take oatmeal and pour hot water on it, leaving it in a warm place for a day and a half. Then stir, strain, squeeze the oatmeal. The solution that will drain is called the chain.

Boil with continuous stirring until thick. Salt to taste and when thickened remove from heat. Cool and cut into pieces. Serve with kvass.

Funeral kissel from black bread

200g rye crackers, 1 liter of water, 125 gr. dried fruits, 125 grams of sugar, 50 gr. starch.

To cook black bread kissel to the memorial table according to tradition, you need to take dried black bread crackers with boiling water before cooking and rub through a sieve. Add sugar, soaked dried fruits, pour starch, diluted in cold water and bring to a boil. Pour ready kissel on a dish, sprinkle with sugar and cool.

Naturally, this is by no means all the dishes traditionally prepared for the commemoration and the memorial table by Christians and Slavs, but at least I want to convey to the readers one thought that the main purpose of the memorial meal is a common prayer for the departed.

And I hope that our material will help you properly and comfortably spend commemoration days, and I also wish you as calmly and consciously as possible “in a Christian manner” with faith and love in your heart, to relive your loss. And also in order to more fully get acquainted with the traditions of the memorial dishes and the order of their serving on the table during the commemoration, I advise you to read the articles And of course how to spend half a year and.

After the funeral, the family members of the deceased usually gather close relatives, acquaintances, colleagues, friends of the deceased to the wake, which they tried not to come without an invitation, because of the natural folk delicacy they took into account that the family could be constrained in funds due to sudden material expenses as well as family decisions to gather only a narrow circle of people.
In some areas it was not customary to invite for commemoration, and anyone who knew the deceased in life and work together could come to them. Such a parish meant respect for the deceased and his family. The clergy were invited formally to the commemoration, actually trying not to participate in them.
  When they came to the house from the cemetery, they would wash their hands and wipe them with a towel. They “cleaned” also by touching their hands to the oven, to the bread, before they even specially heated the bath and washed in it, changed clothes. There was a custom for those who kissed the deceased on the lips - he had to rub his lips on certain points of the stove (at the bowl valve). This custom among the Slavs is obviously connected with the idea of \u200b\u200bthe cleansing power of fire and is aimed at protecting itself from the deceased.
  During the time the deceased was taken to the cemetery and buried in the house, preparations for the meal were completed. We tried to clean the house before the deceased was lowered into the grave, although it was difficult to guess by the time. They arranged furniture, washed the floors; all the rubbish that had accumulated in three days was swept away from a large angle to the threshold, collected and burned. It was necessary to wash the floors thoroughly, especially the corner, handles, threshold. After cleaning the room was fumigated with incense or juniper smoke.

The memorial meal in the Orthodox tradition is interpreted as a continuation of worship by eating food, therefore, in the ritual of commemoration they follow certain rules and traditions.
  Commemoration is a kind of Christian alms for those gathered, as interpreted in the Holy Scriptures. Commemorative trizny existed in ancient times, when pagans ate food on the graves of deceased tribesmen. This tradition entered the Christian rites, and the ancient Christian commemorative meals were transformed in later times into modern commemorations.
  As usual, funeral dinners are arranged three times, which supposedly coincides with a threefold change in the body of the deceased (on the third day the image changes, on the ninth the body disintegrates, on the fortieth one the heart fades) Threefold commemoration also coincides with the beliefs about the journey of the soul to the next world.
  Commemorate the deceased on other days (six months, a year, a birthday, the day of the angel of the deceased). There are also the so-called calendar commemorations associated with certain holidays that accompany the household lifestyle of the peasants, and included in the church ritual.

In an effort to bury the deceased according to folk rites and in accordance with church rules, the relatives and friends of the deceased often formally follow the ritual actions, without going into their meaning.
  According to the ecclesiastical establishment of the symbolism of the commemoration of the departed on the third day after death, it is that the deceased was baptized in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, he believed in the Triune God - the Trinity is Unified and Divisible. The living in their prayers implore the Holy Trinity to forgive the transgressions of his sin, committed by word, deed and reason, and set off to him the three virtues: faith, hope and love.
  What matters to the Orthodox is that unknown, as for the afterlife state of the soul. When St. Macarius of Alexandria, as written in Holy Scripture, asked the angel accompanying him in the desert to explain the significance of the church commemoration on the third day, the Angel replied that in the course of two days the soul, with the angels with it, was allowed to walk on the earth where she wants, therefore, a loving soul wanders around the house where the body is located, like a bird searching for its nest. The virtuous soul goes where it has done the truth. On the third day, in imitation of Christ, the soul ascends to heaven to worship God.

On the way to the throne of God, the soul passes the test of spirits in its earthly affairs. These tests are called "ordeals" and usually begin on the third day after death. The whole space (according to Christian mythology) is a few judgments, where the incoming soul is exposed to demons for sins. Each judgment seat (ordeal) corresponds to a certain sin, evil spirits are called tax collectors. A total of twenty ordeals are indicated, corresponding to a particular group of sins depending on the degree of severity (for example, word sin, lies, condemnation and slander, gluttony, laziness, theft, avarice, greed, arrogance, untruth, envy, pride and vanity, rage and anger, murder, magic, fornication, adultery, Sodom, etc.), i.e. basic human vices are listed.
  On the 9th day, relatives pray for the deceased, that his soul may be honored to be canonized and receive the award of heavenly bliss.
  Saint Macarius of Alexandria, by revelation from the Angel, says that after worshiping God on the third day, the soul is commanded to show the various abodes of saints and the beauty of paradise. All this soul looks for six days, admiring the beauty and forgetting its grief, which it had when it was in the body.
If she is guilty of sins, then she begins to grieve and reproach herself, that she spent her life lightly and did not serve God as it should. After examining heaven, the soul (on the ninth day of its separation from the body) rises to the worship of God.
  The number forty is significant, often found in the Holy Scriptures. According to the testimony of the same Saint Macarius, after the second worship, the Lord orders to show the soul hell with all its torments, and for thirty days the soul, led to the torments of hell, trembles so that such a fate will not be prepared for it.
  On the fortieth day, the hardships end, and for the third time the soul rises to the worship of God, which executes judgment on it and determines its place in anticipation of the Last Judgment on its earthly deeds and on the grace of the prayers of the Church and loved ones during these forty days.
  The court of the fortieth day is a private court to determine the position of the soul, which, according to the teachings of the Orthodox Church, can be changed by the prayers of relatives and friends, by their doing alms and good deeds in memory of the deceased.
  At the memorial meal they collected first of all relatives, closest friends, and earlier also necessarily poor and beggars. Especially invited those who washed and dressed the deceased. All the relatives of the deceased after the meal was supposed to go to the bath to wash.
  The most important was considered the fortieth day. It was believed that after the sorochin the soul goes far, far away, and therefore by this time they were in a hurry to do everything. They ordered a memorial liturgy (memorial service or sorokoust in the church), gave something to commemorate the soul and the church parable. For the funeral until the fortieth day they always paid money.
  The commemoration of the ninth, fortieth and other days of death usually consisted of visits by relatives of the deceased cemetery and a commemorative homemade meal for those invited.

Nowadays, commemoration is sometimes more reminiscent of the pagan treasures that the ancient Slavs staged, who believed that the richer and more magnificent the farewell of the deceased, the better he would live in another world. Elements of vanity, prestige, the financial condition of the relatives of the deceased, as well as ignorance of the church regulations in this matter play a certain role in this.
  Compliance with the norms in the Orthodox memorial meal requires that, before the start of it, someone from the family read 17 kafizmu from the Psalter before a lit lamp or a candle. Just before the meal, they read "Our Father ...".
To the commemoration table it was customary to serve ritual dishes: eve (full), kutyu (colivo), pancakes, jelly. In addition to these mandatory dishes, cold fish snacks, herring, sprats, fish dishes, fish pies are usually served, which has a definite connection with Christian symbolism.
  In the early days, meat dishes were allowed: roast, meat stew, kulebyaka pies, borsch, porridge, noodles with poultry. Hot food was considered mandatory, because they believed that the soul of the deceased flies away with the steam.

At present, the menu of the memorial table also consists of a specific set of dishes, depending on which days the wake (lean or skorimnye) fall.
  Salads from beets with garlic, radish, cucumbers, tomatoes, cheese with tomatoes, fresh and sauerkraut are served as appetizers; Caviar from apples, vegetables (carrots, zucchini, eggplants), vinaigrette, vinaigrette with herring, etc. From hot dishes, in addition to those mentioned, are served burgers, lamb stew, poultry roasted or fried in vegetable oil, duck with sour cabbage, fried eggplants, Stuffed pepper, boiled potatoes, stuffed cabbage stuffed with vegetables. Lean yeast dough was used to make patties with potatoes, berries, apples, dried fruits, dried apricots, mushrooms, cabbage, fish, cereals, rice, etc. Commemorative pancakes were obligatory. Gingerbread, gingerbread, pancakes, sweets were put on the table. Cakes and pastries were not recommended. From drinks - berry kissel, lemon drink with honey, apple, rhubarb, kvass from crackers.
  They tried to have an even number of dishes on the table, they did not practice changing, but they adhered to a certain reception sequence.
  An old commemorative dish, from which the funeral dinner was started, was eve (full), which was previously made from beans with sugar or made with bread or crumbled bread or honey cakes, which was watered with sweet fat. In old times, wheat or barley kutya was used. Later, the commemoration of kutia (colivo) was made from boiled rice, poured with honey diluted in water, and sweet fruits (raisins). By tradition, with kutya, and it was eaten by three spoons, a commemorative lunch began.
  Kutya is supposed to be sanctified in the temple. Here, too, has its own symbolism, in which the grains serve as a sign of resurrection, and honey (raisins) marks the spiritual sweetness of the blessings of eternal life in the kingdom of heaven. In the fashion, as it were, the ideas of the ancients about the immortality of the soul.

Orthodox canons establish that there should be no alcohol on the commemoration table, since the main thing in commemoration is not food, but prayer, clearly incompatible with a drunken state, in which it is hardly permissible to ask the Lord to improve the afterlife of the deceased. No wonder the proverb says "Drink is the joy of the soul," but on such a day it is unlikely the fun will be festive.
  In real life, rarely what wake ups do without alcoholic beverages. These are mainly strong drinks (vodka, brandy), dry red wines. Sweet and sparkling alcoholic beverages are usually excluded. The presence of alcohol on the memorial table is partly due to the fact that they contribute to the removal of emotional stress, stress associated with the loss of loved ones.
  Table talk is mainly dedicated to the remembrance of the departed, to memories with a kind word about his deeds on earth, and is also aimed at comforting his relatives.

For believers, it was also important what day the commemoration fell on: fasting or fasting, since the range of dishes changed accordingly according to the requirements of the Post. If the wake came during the Great Lent, then they were not performed on weekdays, but, as usual, they were transferred to the next (forward) Saturday or Sunday. Also, the commemoration days, which fell on the Bright Week (the first week after Easter) and on Monday, the second Easter Week - are transferred to Radonitsa (Tuesday of the second week after Easter).
  Before the beginning of the meal, sometimes the food was fumigated with a censer with incense.
  Food was served in everyday (not festive crystal or brightly painted porcelain) dishes, if possible, in a calm color spectrum.
  They ate as usual table or dessert spoons, tried not to use knives and forks. In some cases, in the presence of table silver in the family, the relatives of the deceased used silver spoons, which also serves as evidence to impart magical cleansing properties to silver.
  With each change of dishes the Orthodox tried to read the prayer.
  The memorial table was often decorated with branches of spruce, lingonberry, myrtle, black mourning ribbon. The tablecloth was laid monotonous, not necessarily white, often muted tones, which at the edges could be decorated with black ribbon.
  The table setting was ordinary, except that the cutlery did not include sharp objects (knife, fork), and the spoons were put back up.
There is a tradition to place a device on a funeral table for the deceased (a knife and fork are placed parallel on an empty plate), a lit candle, often decorated with black ribbon at the base, and a glass (stack) with vodka covered with a piece of black bread are placed.
  The tradition to leave on the table for the deceased dishes and food, as well as curtain mirrors, windows, TV screens has nothing to do with Orthodoxy, its origins go back to paganism, but in real life has a widespread existence. This example, like many others, testifies that the modern burial-funeral rites are syncretic, since includes heterogeneous components of folk culture, of which Orthodoxy is an integral part of the Slavic peoples.
  The folk tradition also regulated the placement of people at the memorial table. Usually at the head of the table sat the owner of the house, the head of the family, on both sides of which the relatives were arranged in order of kinship by seniority. For children, as a rule, allocated a separate place at the end of the table. In some cases, at the request of the close relatives of the deceased, they were imprisoned side by side (on both sides) with their father or mother, if one of the parents died. The place where the deceased usually sat was left unoccupied, the back of the chair was decorated with mourning ribbon or a branch of spruce.

A special order of the commemorative dinner was formed, the main content of which was the commemoration of the deceased through the eating of food, interspersed by the Orthodox in reading prayers, memories of good earthly affairs and personal qualities of the deceased. The first word was traditionally spoken by the head of the family, then the right to conduct a feast was transferred usually to a special, respected person, whom the close relatives of the deceased asked to fulfill this duty of the “Tomadi Leading”. Traditionally, close relatives tried not to say goodbye words, but in a real situation a memorial dinner, as a rule, they were also given the floor.
  Memorial words were taken to be standing, and after the first, to honor the memory of the deceased with a minute of silence, also standing.
  With a large number of guests at the table sat down in several shifts.
Bread, cakes were made to break hands, and not cut. The remnants of the funeral dinner, and especially pastries, were always handed out to those present "takeaway" so that they could again with their family members remember the good word of the deceased, especially since not everyone could attend the wake for various reasons. The next day crumbs of bread were carried to the grave, thereby, as it were, introducing the deceased to information about the commemoration.
  The last memorial dish was usually jelly, tea. The Orthodox finished the meal with a thankful prayer “Thank You, Oi, Christ Our God ...” and “Eat Eat Well ...”, as well as a wish for well-being and an expression of sympathy for the relatives of the deceased.

Thank for the food was not accepted. After eating, the spoon was usually put on the table, and not on the plate. By the way, it should be mentioned that according to custom, if during dinner the spoon fell under the table, then it was not recommended to be raised.
  Getting up from the table, they often bowed to the side where the device of the deceased was standing, addressing “him” with words like “they ate, drank, go and go home, and let you rest in peace”, after which, saying goodbye to the relatives of the deceased, went home. We sat at the table, as a rule, for a long time, which was considered a good omen, since many good things could be remembered about the deceased. In some places, there was a sign, saying that someone who would be the first to rise from the memorial table would soon die, so they tried first not to leave the table.
  There was also a custom to leave the device with a glass of vodka covered with bread for up to forty days. They believed that if the liquid decreases, it means that the soul is drinking. Vodka and snacks were also left at the grave, although this has nothing to do with Orthodox rites.
  After the guests had left, the home ones, if they had time, usually washed themselves before sunset. Nothing could be removed from the table, but they were eager to cover all the utensils and the rest of the food, except for those intended for the deceased. At night, tightly closed all the doors and windows. At dusk, they tried not to cry, so as not to “summon the deceased from the cemetery,” according to popular belief.
  After the funeral of a loved one, many people, especially close relatives, observed mourning.
  The deepest mourning - up to a year - was to be observed by the widow. Earlier at this time she was wearing only mostly black clothes, the decorations were completely absent. Naturally, in the eyes of others, even thoughts of remarriage before the expiration of mourning were considered indecent.

The widower man in most cases wore mourning for six months. Children had to observe mourning for their dead parents for a year, consistently moving from black to lighter shades of clothing. This mourning for the dead father or mother was divided by duration into a deep - half a year, ordinary - three months and half-traors - the remaining three months, when white and gray were mixed with black clothes. According to grandmother and grandfather it was customary to wear semi-annual mourning, which was also conventionally equally divided into deep and half-traor. The same term of mourning was for the deceased sister and brother.
  The mourning clothes were dark, black or blue, in which shades of red were completely excluded. More often not new. At present, when there is no suitable clothing and headdress in the wardrobe, they are buying a black dress (costume), a headscarf. Previously, during the mourning they didn’t even try to keep a close eye on the clothes, because, according to popular belief, careful care of her was a manifestation of disrespect for the memory of the deceased. Women in the period of mourning head should be covered with a scarf.
  There was a widespread custom during this period not to cut hair, not to make elegant lush hairstyles, and in some cases even to make braids for girls. In general, in Russia, the outer signs of mourning should have been observed longer, as a rule, by women, and men of black, dark-colored clothes could be worn only in the days of commemoration, which even villagers did not condemn in the public mind.
  Signs of mourning in the house persisted for a long time depending on the way of life. In most cases - up to 40 days, and also - up to a year.
  In the families of believers, mourning was marked by intensified prayers, the reading of religious books, abstinence in food, and pastime. It was not accepted to participate in various amusements, holidays, gambling.
  If for the period of mourning the wedding of any of the relatives fell, then on the wedding day the mourning attire was removed, but the next day they were put on again.
  During the deep mourning, it was not customary to go to public and entertainment places, even the appearance in the theater was considered permissible only after the complete removal of mourning. Arbitrary reduction of mourning in a society with a certain way of life, the observance of popular traditions is immediately sharply striking and can cause condemnation.
  In modern conditions, as a rule, such a long time of mourning, as before, is not observed, especially in the city. All this individually and in each specific case depends on a number of circumstances.
When mourning, you should not show boundless grief, showing it to those around you. Everything should be done with dignity, since the meaning of mourning lies not only in observing external propriety, signs of a person’s mental state, but also in the fact that he is the time for a person to deepen into himself, while thinking about the meaning of life. Ultimately, on how we honor the memory of our loved ones, and others, perhaps, will honor our memory, because no one is eternal in this world.